| Sunday, December 30, 2007 |
| BROKEN TRUST! |
BROKEN TRUST!
by: Dorothy Lafrinere
BROKEN TRUST......ever been there?
BROKEN TRUST......ever spent sleepless nights because of it?
BROKEN TRUST......ever felt your stomach eat itself through the lining?
BROKEN TRUST......ever been so confused with what is real and what is not ?
BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like your entire world has just turned upside down?
BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like dieing?
If you have been there so to speak, then you know what it means to suffer from a trust betrayal, or BROKEN TRUST. For lack of a better word. It just plain SUX!
I want to say that we need to experience a broken trust in order to really be able to feel an unbroken trust, but this is not so. There are some experiences in life that no one deserves and dealing with a BROKEN TRUST is certainly one of the top ten.
Some people go through their lives never experiencing the feelings of betrayal or deception or a BROKEN TRUST. For them life is always good and on an even keel. They cannot even imagine what others, that have had even one of those experiences, is feeling or trying to explain.
Have you ever just been totally blinded by your affection with another that you over look every warning sign.? Have you caught a glimpse of a warning sign, and when confronting your partner about it, you believe them after some discussion, but still have a lingering feeling of doubt? Have you ever came upon warning signs that are as real as your hand and when you tried to question them about it, you were made to feel like you were doing something wrong even thinking that they had anything to do with it, yet in your guts you could not feel that you were wrong?
Have you ever brought solid issues up to your partner, because you just need to know, and all they do is get angry and accuse you of not trusting them?
In all these scenarios, the partner being confronted is either guilty, or not.
They could be guilty but with an honest excuse. They could be very good at playing the reverse the attack game, making you feel like you are the wrong doer in the end. Or they just plain pretend that they have no clue what you are talking about and ignore it altogether, again making you out to be the problem if you persist to question.
When you love someone, it does not mean that you should turn a blind eye and agree with their every thought or decision. You, as your own person have choices. If you feel threatened or betrayed, you have the right to clear up those feelings.
Just because you question your partner about an issue does so not mean that you lack TRUST or LOVE. Matters of the heart are very tricky to deal with. One can become very defensive and take any question as a personal attack. That is why emotional wars in any relationship are so draining and confusing.
No one wants to mistrust their partner, but what is one to do when certain signs keep coming up time and time again? Love is only so blind. Some people go through life succeeding in their game of denial or turning the tables to suit themselves. Those types are the hardest people to deal with in a relationship. Eventually you are always the one that ends up feeling hurt and accused of not trusting.. Not only hurt by what you feel is wrong but also, you feel defeated in what you feel and believe is right. Because of your love for your partner and the desire to keep things happy, you stay quiet and try to "Let it go". Then you find yourself mistrusting even more because you are forced to decide about things in your own mind, for fear of being wrong again. This is where a communication break down occurs between two people in a relationship. Once that happens, both parties are on separate roads going separate places and sometime never ever meeting on the same road again.
If you are any of these personalities listed above and you care about your partner, then you must not let communication fall to the way side. Also you must not take it as a personal attack, but more of a person crying for help. It is them that is suffering from a BROKEN TRUST and they are in need of your patience and understanding. They are not enjoying their torture at all. In some ways they are trying to share the pain with you. I know that sounds a bit confusing , but to be human is to be a confusion.
Life can be so good when we have no BROKEN TRUST issues to deal with. Also we need to respect one another and not add to the confusion of a "Normal" relationship by deceiving or belittling our partner. Relationships are at thier best when both partners are at peace and respect one another!
Some hurts cannot be repaired, but at least they not need be endured alone!
Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com
This article is free for republishing
Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator/writer
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com
Hello my name is Dorothy and I thought you might like to know a bit about me! I was born and raised in Canada where I raised 4 great children and ran a business for 23 years. I recently moved to Florida to continue my life and enjoy the tropics. My experiences throughout my life have built my character and made me an independent women. My issues regarding self-esteem have directed me towards creating a wonderful website for all the women in the world! www.WomensSelfesteem.com My goal is to simply put a smile on your face, add a little sunshine to your day, and help you find the strength to deal with your fears and tackle your weaknesses, but most importantly to help you find the goodness that is inside of you, so that you can live a peaceful and happy life.
I have had many questions reguarding why my website is totally free. Well, it isn't actually really free. The payment that I ask for from my members and any women that frequent my site is that they feel better about themselves, and that they use some of that gained strength to help other women who also suffer from self esteem issues that women are faced with in daily life.Labels: Broken Trust |
posted by Beebee @ 7:28 AM  |
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| Saturday, December 22, 2007 |
| Speaking Your Truth to Your Partner |
Speaking Your Truth to Your Partner
by: Margaret Paul
Mark sought my help because he was thinking of leaving his
wife, Linda. He had not been feeling in love with Linda for
a long time, but they had two children and he really didn't
want to break up the family.
"Mark," I asked, "Were you ever in love with Linda?"
"Yes, at the beginning of our relationship."
"Then what happened?"
"Linda seemed to get really insecure once I started my new
business and had long work days. Even though I think I gave
her a lot of attention on the weekends, she started getting
angry pretty much every day. Then after our son was born,
she seemed even more unhappy and irritable. She gets mean
when she's angry and I just don't find that appealing. I
don't feel close to her anymore."
"Have you said anything to her about this?" I asked.
"No," he replied. "She already seems so unhappy. I don't
want to hurt her feelings."
"So how do you handle it?"
"I guess I just sort of shut down and pretend that
everything is okay. But I'm spending more and more time at
work because I don't like being at home and recently I met
another woman that I'm attracted to. I realize I've got to
do something about this."
"Do you really think that leaving her will cause less hurt
than telling her your truth?"
"Well, if I just leave then I don't have to deal with her
hurt."
"Mark, that's a lack of courage and integrity. And you have
two children to think about. You once loved Linda and it's
possible that you could again, but only if you are willing
to be honest. You need to give Linda a chance to deal with
this. She has no idea what's going on. She might decide to
deal with her anger, or she might not, but at least give her
a chance to make that decision. And relationship problems
are never one-sided. Perhaps she has things to say to you
too."
Mark decided to tell Linda the truth, even though he was
really scared. He told her that her anger was pushing him
away, and that he didn't like being home anymore because he
felt so blamed and controlled by her. He told her that he
was attracted to another woman who was treating him with
kindness and caring, and that he wanted this from Linda. He
told her he had been thinking of leaving and had sought my
help and that I told him to tell the truth. He asked her if
she would join him in counseling.
Linda was shocked. She had no idea all this was going on
with Mark. She thought she was the only one feeling so
unloved in the relationship. At first she reacted exactly as
Mark feared, with anger, hurt, and blame. But he told her
the truth about this too – that he had been afraid to be
truthful with her because of this reaction, and that if she
wanted the truth, she need to be open to it rather than
closed and angry. Finally Linda heard him and they were able
to talk honestly for the first time in years. Linda was
actually relieved at hearing the truth, once she got over
the initial shock and they were able to talk. She agreed to
counseling.
In counseling, Mark discovered that Linda also had been
afraid to be honest with Mark, fearing that he would
withdraw even more. She was just as afraid of his withdrawal
as he was of her anger. They discovered that both of them
had been protecting against their fears rather than being
open to learning with each other. As they both opened to
learning, the love gradually came back into their
relationship.
People often believe that they are withholding their truth
to spare their partner pain, but their real intent is to
protect themselves from the response they fear. Protecting
against pain – with anger, withdrawal, and blame - will
always bring about the very pain we fear, while opening to
learning and speaking our truth opens the door to love.
About The Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and
co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me
To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is
the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing
process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a
FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or
email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone
Sessions Available.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me
To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing
process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site FREE Inner Bonding course.
Contact her at http://www.innerbonding.com Labels: Speaking Truth |
| posted by Beebee @ 6:14 PM |
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| Monday, December 17, 2007 |
| Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy |
Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy
by: Jessica Kihara
Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite sex and others seem like they don't even know what it means. However, everyone should know how to make their partner's heart melt because it's one of the finest acts of seduction.
For Your Wife/Girlfriend:
1. Kidnap her for a surprise picnic. Plan your rendevous for the weekend or when you both have a free day. Make sure she doesn't have any plans. Then you tell her to come with you to the supermarket or something along those lines. Give her time to get ready, get in the car, and pick up some take-out food. Then head to a nice empty beach or park and explain to her that you're having a romantic getaway!
2. Write her a poem. If this is not your thing, there are lots of places to get some inspiration. Try a poetry book, romantic song, etc. Just don't repeat anything word for word because it may sound familiar to her and she'll know you faked it.
3. Cook her a delicious meal, light some candles, dim the lights and CLEAN the house! When she gets home, she'll be speechless.
4. Hold her hand everytime you go out. If this isn't possible (because one of you is carrying a baby or pushing a shopping cart) then make sure to maintain some form of physical contact. This will make her feel like you're proud to be with her and can't keep your hands off her!
5. Give her a spa like treat. Fill your tub with warm water then add some milk and honey. Invite her in, give a a nice scrub down, then sit behind her and give her a firm yet gentle scalp massage.
6. Plan a photography session. Let your wife or girlfriend get all dolled up for you, then take pictures of her that you'll keep in your wallet, office, or car. Tell her that she's beautiful and that she takes amazing pictures.
7. Get up a few minutes before her one day and write a simple "I Love You" on a post-it. Stick the post-it on the bathroom mirror or someplace she'll be sure to see it. This is guaranteed to make her feel special and lovey-dovey! If you wan't to expand on this idea, you can leave sweet little notes for her in so many other places too!
8. If you're an artist, take inspiration from Titanic and draw, paint, or sculpt your lover. You'll get the best resluts if your masterpiece actually looks good but if not, tell her you could never create something as beautiful as her.
For Your Husband/Boyfriend:
1. After a hard day at work, give your man an exquisite back massage. Use some aromatheraoy massage oil to relax and soothe him.
2. Wear lingerie. This might not seem like the most romantic thing to do, but he will absolutely love it. He will definitely appreciate the effort you made and it'll seem super-romantic to him!
3. If your lover shaves his face, you do it for him. Play some romantic music, lather him up, and use slow, gentle strokes to shave him. DO NOT cut or nick him! Just take your time and he'll feel satisfied and taken care of.
4. Take some time out to just look into each other's eyes. Appreciate his presence, his scent, and his warmth. If you feel like kissing him, go for it!
5. Pretend to need him. Men like to be the ones to protect you, so tell him you get scared when he's not around or that you feel safe with him there.
6. Cuddle him unexpectedly. Warning - do this when you two are completely alone so that he won't feel uncomfortable or embarassed. To keep him happy, stop before he feels crowded. I suggest you hold him for about 5-6 minutes, then give him some space.
7. Buy him tickets to a football or basketball game that you know he wants to see. To keep things romantic, go with him and cheer for his team!
8. Cook him a huge feast, let him stuff himself, then you load the dishes in the dish washer while he rests. When you're done, sit near him and stroke his arms while whispering sweet nothings in his ear.
These are great tips that you can use anytime. Good for special occassions such as anniversaries or when you just want your partner to feel extra special. Don't ever let your significant other forget how much you care. Keep them feeling warm and fuzzy and they'll treat you so much better!
Jessica Kihara
To join our newsletter and special report, simply send a blank e-mail to mailto: newsletter@sensationaltreasures.com
GHM Industries, Inc.
http://www.SensationalTreasures.comLabels: Amaze Lover |
| posted by Beebee @ 11:56 PM |
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| Friday, December 14, 2007 |
| Dating Tips: Creating The Perfect Atmosphere |
Dating Tips: Creating The Perfect Atmosphere
by: Rick Valens
Had you ever been in the situation where your heart suddenly beats so fast, losing your ability to think, having the sudden loss for words when seeing someone you admired? At that very moment, you were like frozen in time, lost into another world, a world so wonderful, so heavenly? Hmm… How is my description? Ha whatever, the fact is that at that very moment, you were totally defenseless. So defenseless that anything could have just hit you. An arrow? An arrow of love? Get what I mean?
Ok, let me share with you an experience of mine, a memory of my college days. Those were the days when we would always hang out in a big group, a group of both guys and girls, partying and having fun together. There was this fine evening that we gathered at a friend’s place for a little party, followed by some games of Black Jack during the later evening. We were sited in one big circle in this nice and cozy room. Sitting beside me was this girl, a very beautiful girl I must admit. But well, it had never cross my mind of a relationship further than that of a friend with her. There just wasn’t any chemistry between us. Then came an ace for me! Before I realize anything, this girl beside me suddenly just came in so close on me. I know she was just been excited and curious on whether I would get my Jack. But at this very moment, her knee was on my lap, shoulder right in front of my chest. We were suddenly just so close; I could feel the beautiful fragrance from her soft silky hair. My heart was suddenly pounding so fast, gasping for breath. I was totally at loss, for that very moment, she got me! That chemistry, that frequency, which had never happened between us suddenly just flowed through me so relentlessly. Just imagine, if she were to give me a peck on my cheek out of excitement if I got a Black Jack. Ha well, that of course did not happen and neither did I get my jack.
Get the picture now? This is a very natural human psychological reaction. When one is in the stage experiencing that sudden increase in the heartbeat, undergoing a sudden feeling of excitement, he tends to get confused, unknowingly developing that feeling of liking for that someone beside him, especially when the person is of the opposite sex. An opposite sex of, whom he does not have any bad impression. Not to mention an opposite sex of whom he has a good impression of?
Ha! I know what is on your mind now. But well, there is nothing wrong, why not? Go create that perfect atmosphere; an atmosphere that would make one’s heart beats faster. An atmosphere that would make the sudden chemistry of love flowing between both of you. A roller coaster ride? A haunted house adventure? Having a good laugh together after the rides? A little nice chatting session over the coffee table after a game of his favorite sports, tennis? Singing her a love song with your guitar in front of everyone?
Think about it, you plan yours. Take it slowly; build up that chemistry of love between both of you. You are definitely on the right track.
Rick Valens
Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com ,
Love Relationship Discussion Forum
Currently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org,
Monument of Eternal MemoryLabels: Dating Tips |
| posted by Beebee @ 5:28 PM |
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| Tuesday, December 11, 2007 |
| 7 Myths About Creating A Better Relationship |
7 Myths About Creating A Better Relationship
by: Cecil McIntosh
7 Myths About Creating A Better Relationship by Cecil McIntosh
In my private practice for over 14 years no matter what my clients have come to see me about, there has always been an issue about a better relationship.
Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have related to me about having a better relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them.
Myth 1 I have to love everything about my partner
Reality Check 1
You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship.
Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However, when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need for a better relationship.
Myth 2 Love means that I can fix your partner
Reality Check 2
You met your partner because of some special quality or charteristic that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a better relationship.
You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy a better relationship.
Myth 3
I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a better relationship.
Reality Check 3
Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself.
Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness of you and your partner.
When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.
Myth 4 I will be rescued by a knight in shining armour
Reality Check 4
You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able to take care of you.
Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring your passion to the table of your relationship. Some days you will be the knight in shining armour and another day your partner will be the knight in shining armour of a better relationship.
You will each get a chance to shine like star in a better relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.
Myth 5 It cost a lot to be in a relationship
Reality Check 5
In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based on the bigger house, car or boat. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.
Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing an ice cream.
Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is.
Myth 6 Love in a relationship is or is not a feeling
Reality Check 6
It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, "I love you" which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love is the action of doing.
If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action that cements a better relationship.
Myth 7 I don't have to work at my relationship
Reality Check 7
As a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences.
These sentences then become the way in which you communicated.
When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to use the letters of the alphabet in sentences, it's like 2 tape recorders talking to each other - Nobody is at home to enjoy a better relationship.
In summary:
1. Your partner's behavior in a better relationship is not your partner's true essence.
2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself. A better relationship requires some variety.
3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is like throwing out the baby with the bath water.
4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners.
5. Love in creating a better relationship is not about money and the material assets (although there are important) but the simple things in life.
6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.
7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for a better relationship.
About The Author:
Cecil McIntosh provides Relaxation Resources, that will turbo
charge your health, business and wealth. To receive your free 7
day Relaxation course. visit this site now:Relaxation tools and TipsLabels: Better Relationship |
| posted by Beebee @ 7:41 AM |
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| Sunday, December 2, 2007 |
| A Dream of the Perfect Partner |
A Dream of the Perfect Partner
by: George Lockett
Understand the heart when thinking of loving one’s perfect partner.
Your dream is so beautiful and it is never to late to happen. What I would say is keep your dream close to your heart and visualise fully what it would feel like for your dream to come true and your perfect partner stepped into your life. Spend a little time now just going back to your dream remember the rose petals and smell their essence in the air. Hear the waves crashing on the beach and feel the sea air on your face.
Visualise your dream partner see how close to your perfect person they are. Imagine the feeling of holding them in your arms, see their beautiful cloths and smell them. Feel your heart swell with love for each other. Use your powers of visualisation to see them in your minds eye.
Know that they already exist in this world and are thinking of you in the same way at this moment in time. Feel the warmth of their thoughts surrounding you and embracing you. They are only ever a thought away from you. You’re both telephonically linked and will be drawn together.
Be patient, know that when the time is right it will happen in the perfect moment and be even more perfect than you have already imagined. See the hidden hand of nature working in your life. All the trials and tribulations you have experience have all been necessary. All the pain you have suffered has been put there to temper you, to give you the opposite of who you really are, so that you can have a clear vision of yourself in your magnificence.
Just take a deep breath, and breathe yourself in, connect to your higher planes and dance with the angels. Know that god has only brought you angels, so that you can know yourself in this moment of Now.
It is time to let your story go, it is time to be fully present in the now moment and to love yourself fully and connect to your magnificence. Breathe in your partner feel their essence feel your love flowing to them and theirs returning to you.
Know that this experience is real in this moment. You are truly blessed because you have realised that your happiness is not dependent on anyone else. It is all happening within you, yet it is even more real than life itself.
Know that the process of creation is thought, word and deed. Your dream is the finest state of thought, blended with your imagination and passion; creates a tremendous power and sets the universe in motion to bring that vision to you in your reality.
The synchrony of life is such that while your dream is burning in your heart. Your true soul mate is being drawn to you even as you read this. Feel them coming closer; in every second know that you are together already, there is no separation your hearts are joined in a bond of love, that can never be broken.
Message channelled by George Lockett (C) Copyright 2005, All Rights Reserved. Read HealerGeorge’s Blog: http://curezone.com/blogs/f.asp?f=95
Visit the website for more information and previously published ebooks to read, Guided Meditation CD or MP3 file. Request Absent Healing at: http://www.healergeorge.com
Or ask at question at “Ask HealerGeorge”: http://curezone.com/forums/f.asp?f=637 Labels: Perfect Partner |
| posted by Beebee @ 8:42 AM |
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| The Art of Love Making |
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